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Dear Void,

I am reliably informed by several parents that my kitten is very cute, but that considering the amount of trouble he makes, I might as well have adopted a toddler.

He's white and fluffy, if you're curious, and also prone to fits of diarrhea at the most inopportune times.

Such as in the middle of the night when he's wearing a cone following his neutering and therefore cannot clean his own little fluffy bum. Instead, as a midway solution, he drags said bum all over every surface of the apartment, including the bookshelves and window sills, and then falls asleep on the kitchen table.

Dear Void, I have taken off work today in order to bath my kitten and clean my kitchen and scrub my living room and mop my floors and put my entire couch through the washing machine. I have informed my boss that I'm experiencing a "kitten emergency," but I think he has imagined a scenario of horrible sickness or broken limbs, rather than a universe of poo. Tomorrow I shall explain the poo and garner his sympathy.

Dear Void, in addition, I have learned of the coming death of Tumblr, and so I have uprooted my sparse internet personality and replanted it here, at least for the time being. Here, I shall talk of fic and noodle of fandoms.

Dear Void, here's a picture of my kitten several months ago when he was still small and his poo was small too.